var q=new Array();
q[0]="My hair hurts!";
q[1]="I’m astride!";
q[2]="That’s easy for you to say,";
q[3]="I think I need another snakebite,";
q[4]="How very unfortunate!";
q[5]="If it doesn’t already look phallic, turn it sideways,";
q[6]="Did you get that from ‘Hard Copy’?";
q[7]="My rapture cannot be contained,";
q[8]="You say that like it’s a bad thing,";
q[9]="Buy me a drink, you jackal,";
q[10]="So did I ever tell you what happened with that…";
q[11]="Please don’t tell me that,";
q[12]="It’s the way of the world,";
q[13]="And what a strange world it is!";
q[14]="What’s in a Sidecar anyway? I forget,";
q[15]="You’re brilliant you know,";
q[16]="The hell you say!";
q[17]="See that girl over there? She’s frigid,";
q[18]="Do you often speculate on the sex lives of strangers?";
q[19]="All that red tape!";
q[20]="Wait, I have to write that down,";
q[21]="Either this wallpaper goes or I do,";
q[22]="Well? After all, Suffering is hip…";
q[23]="Kidney problems?";
q[24]="What did ever happen to Nycolytte anyway?";
q[25]="Is that a question?";
q[26]="There are two kinds of people in this world—those that think there are two kinds of people, and…";
q[27]="I don’t see what that has to do with anything,";
q[28]="We deserve all the fame we’re going to get some day,";
q[29]="We all think ‘outside the box’. We don’t even know where the box is,"
q[30]="We amuse we,";
q[31]="A Capricorn. I can deal with having a crush on a Capricorn because we’ll never have to do anything,";
q[32]="I’m having a rebound crush right now. He’s a tree-hugger. A short tree-hugger,"
q[33]="Visions of my horse are still running through me,";
q[34]="I’m sorry, I just don’t follow you,";
q[35]="I don’t let men put their penises in my coffee cup. It takes all the mystery out of it,";
q[36]="Bring the testicles to the future!";
q[37]="If my period would stop by me being a lesbian, I’d be all over y’all,";
q[38]="I’ve often felt the same thing,";
q[39]="But of course!";
q[40]="We’re doomed to die together,";
q[41]="You’ve pretty much said that all along, haven’t you,";
q[42]="What a remarkable thing for you to say,";
function babble(bab)
{
var N1=bab.name1.value
var N2=bab.name2.value
var N3=bab.name3.value
var QUOTE=new Array();
var OUTPUT=new Array();
for (var i=0; i<22; i++) {
QUOTE[i]=q[((Math.round(Math.random( )*q.length)))];
};
OUTPUT[0]="In the darkened corner of Café du Nord, "+N2+" awaited the arrival of "+N1+". Shortly, the latter arrived, sat down at the table and greeted "+N2+".
“Hello sweetie. Don’t you look lovely today!” said "+N1+".
";
OUTPUT[1]="“Thanks so much. "+QUOTE[0]+"” replied "+N2+".
";
OUTPUT[2]="“Really? "+QUOTE[1]+"” said "+N1+", sipping a cocktail.
";
OUTPUT[3]=N2+" smiled and gazed into the candle light. “"+QUOTE[2]+"” "+N2+" offered.
";
OUTPUT[4]="“"+QUOTE[3]+"” "+N1+" replied.
";
OUTPUT[5]=N2+" urged "+N1+" to elucidate the cryptic thought.
";
OUTPUT[6]="“"+QUOTE[4]+"” clarified "+N1+". “"+QUOTE[5]+"” "+N1+" added after some thought.
";
OUTPUT[7]="“"+QUOTE[6]+"” said "+N2+" with a clever wink.
";
OUTPUT[8]="“Oh! That’s rich!” laughed "+N1+" and went to the bar for another drink. While alone, "+N2+" scribbled something down on a napkin. "+N1+" came back and sat down, sipping the cocktail.
";
OUTPUT[9]="“What’s this?” asked "+N1+", taking the napkin and reading it. “Hmm, ‘"+QUOTE[7]+"’ it says. Where did you hear that?”
";
OUTPUT[10]="“I just made it up. I think it may be my new mantra. What would yours be?” asked "+N2+".
";
OUTPUT[11]=N1+" thought about it and after a moment, declared, “"+QUOTE[8]+"” with a smirk and a smack of the lips.
";
OUTPUT[12]="“That sounds more like an epitaph!”
";
OUTPUT[13]="“Not at all,” replied "+N1+". “I’ve already got that worked out. My epitaph will read, ‘"+QUOTE[9]+"’” "+N1+" said and "+N2+" wrote it down on a napkin. “While you’re writing that, add your own.”
";
OUTPUT[14]="“‘"+QUOTE[10]+"’ would be mine,” said "+N2+".
";
OUTPUT[15]=N1+" thought about it for a minute. “Don’t you think ‘"+QUOTE[11]+"’ might be more fitting?” "+N1+" said, clinking glasses with "+N2+".
";
OUTPUT[16]="“No, that would be "+N3+"’s,” "+N2+" said. “Ah, speak of the devil!”
";
OUTPUT[17]="Just then, "+N3+" walked in and joined the two. “"+QUOTE[11]+"” said "+N3+" to "+N1+" and "+N2+", kissing them on the cheek.
";
OUTPUT[18]="“See, "+N2+"?” said "+N1+". “"+N2+" and I were just discussing our epitaphs. What would yours be?”
";
OUTPUT[19]=N3+" thought a moment, then gave the response, “"+QUOTE[13]+"” stealing "+N1+"’s drink and tossing back the contents.
";
OUTPUT[20]="“"+QUOTE[14]+"” said "+N1+".
";
OUTPUT[21]="“Listen to "+N1+",” "+N2+" said. “Such brilliance drips from the lips!”
";
OUTPUT[22]=N3+" agreed. “But brilliance is everywhere. Why, just now on the bus, a perfect stranger came up to me and said, ‘"+QUOTE[15]+"’ if you can believe it!”
";
OUTPUT[23]="“Such hackneyed clichés,” said "+N2+". “They might as well have said, ‘"+QUOTE[16]+"’ don’t you think?”
";
OUTPUT[24]="“That would have been much more witty,” agreed "+N1+". “"+N3+", may I tell you something?”
";
OUTPUT[25]="“"+QUOTE[17]+"” said "+N3+".
";
OUTPUT[26]="“Don’t change the subject,” said "+N1+". “I wanted to run this by you. I’m writing a story, and the theme can be summed up thus: ‘"+QUOTE[18]+"’ — this is the simplified version of course. What do you think?”
";
OUTPUT[27]="“‘"+QUOTE[19]+"’ … as the French say.”
";
OUTPUT[28]="“The French say ‘"+QUOTE[20]+"’ — it’s the Germans that say ‘"+QUOTE[19]+"’ don’t you know!” said "+N2+".
";
OUTPUT[29]="“What do the Irish say?” asked "+N1+".
";
OUTPUT[30]="“"+QUOTE[21]+"” replied "+N2+" and "+N3+" in unison.
";
outwindow1=window.open()
for (i=0; i<31; i++) {
outwindow1.document.write(OUTPUT[i]);
}
};