"I shall not believe in Madame de Merteuil's virtue,
until I have killed six horses in paying court to her."
—Prévan, on a Boast
 | 61 |  |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO SOPHIE CARNAY | ||
| Mom found all my letters from Danceny and she won't let him come over and pluck my harp. I'm totally bummed. | ||
 | 62 |  |
| MADAME DE VOLANGES TO THE CHEVALIER DANCENY | ||
| Here's your stinking letters back. Stay away from my daughter you pedophile! | ||
 | 63 |  |
| THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| I innocently tipped mom off to the fact that Cécile was writing to Danceny. She flipped. Then, I made her agree to run off to your aunt's with Cécile. You better go back so you can seduce Cécile and work on Tourvel. | ||
 | 64 |  |
| THE CHEVALIER DANCENY TO MADAME DE VOLANGES | ||
| Sorry 'bout dat. | ||
| 65 |  |
| THE CHEVALIER DANCENY TO CÉCILE VOLANGES | ||
| I love you and can't write to you! But my main man Valmont's going to the same country house as you are. He'll take care of my letters. | ||
 | 66 |  |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Okay. On my way. | ||
 | 67 | |
| THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| Maybe we could just be friends? | ||
| 68 |  |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL | ||
| But I love you. | ||
| 69 | |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO THE CHEVALIER DANCENY | ||
| I hate my fucking bitch of a mom! | ||
| 70 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| I was eating at the Maréchale's house last night when this Prévan guy boasted he could bag you. Watch out. | ||
| 71 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Had a last little fling with some chick before I have to go back to Auntie Rosemonde's. | ||
| 72 | |
| THE CHEVALIER DANCENY TO CÉCILE VOLANGES DELIVERED BY VALMONT | ||
| Testing, testing. 1, 2, 1, 2. Are you receiving me? | ||
| 73 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO CÉCILE VOLANGES | ||
| Hello. I'll be your conspirator this evening. | ||
| 74 | |
| THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| Feh! Don't tell me to watch out. I'm going to fuck his brains out now. Just you watch! | ||
| 75 | |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO SOPHIE CARNAY | ||
| This Valmont guy's pretty nice. | ||
| 76 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Welp, back in the country. Doing my best to make Tourvel uncomfortable. Please don't fuck Prévan. | ||
| 77 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL | ||
| I had to come back. Can you guess why? Because I love you! | ||
| 78 | |
| THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| That was pretty sneaky. | ||
| 79 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Prévan seduced 3 nubile sisters and ruined them all. Stay away, please. I'm really concerned. | ||
| 80 | |
| THE CHEVALIER DANCENY TO CÉCILE VOLANGES | ||
| When can I see you? Do you still love me? | ||
| 81 | |
| THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| You really think I'm that easy a target? Let me explain thoroughly that I am, and have always been, a cold, calculated and utterly indestructible bitch. | ||
| 82 | |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO THE CHEVALIER DANCENY | ||
| Yes, I still love you. Valmont's working out a plan for us to meet. | ||
| 83 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL | ||
| I want you. | ||
| 84 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO CÉCILE VOLANGES | ||
| I want to make a copy of your key for easy mail delivery. | ||
| 85 | |
| THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| Ha! I seduced Prévan, then, at the last moment, cried, "Rape!" He's lost his job & all his friends. Phhht to you. | ||
 | 86 | |
| THE MARÉCHALE DE … TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Oh! You poor dear! I'll tell every one of my friends to hate Prévan! | ||
| 87 | |
| THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL TO MADAME DE VOLANGES | ||
| I'm so flustered. Prévan tried to rape me. | ||
| 88 | |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| I'd be scared to let you make a key. What if someone finds out! | ||
| 89 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE CHEVALIER DANCENY | ||
| Well, I guess she really doesn't want to see you as much as she says she does, chum. | ||
| 90 | |
| THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| Well … maybe … | ||
| 91 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL | ||
| Meet me? | ||
| 92 | |
| THE CHEVALIER DANCENY TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| She must hate me! | ||
| 93 | |
| THE CHEVALIER DANCENY TO CÉCILE VOLANGES | ||
| You must hate me! | ||
| 94 | |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO THE CHEVALIER DANCENY | ||
| Okay, okay, I'll do it; just chill out! Jeez! | ||
| 95 | |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| Here's the damn key. What the hell did you tell him? | ||
| 96 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| I boinked Cécile. | ||
| 97 | |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| I'm such a slut! | ||
| 98 | |
| MADAME DE VOLANGES TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Cécile's acting really strange. Must be more hung up on Danceny than I thought. I think I'll let them marry. | ||
| 99 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Cécile is boring. Going to finally screw Tourvel tomorrow. I'll drop by your place after and you can screw me. | ||
| 100 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| The bitch ditched in the middle of the night! I'll fucking kill her! Here's a letter I want you to give my stupid servant boy. | ||
| 101 |  |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO AZOLAN, HIS CHAUSSEUR | ||
| Spy on her, dork. | ||
| 102 |  |
| THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL TO MADAME DE ROSEMONDE | ||
| I'm in love. Wah. | ||
 | 103 | |
| MADAME DE ROSEMONDE TO THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL | ||
| Awww. | ||
| 104 | |
| THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL TO MADAME DE VOLANGES | ||
| No. Don't let her marry that little punk. | ||
| 105 | |
| THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL TO CÉCILE VOLANGES | ||
| Yes, you are a slut. Congratulations. Isn't it wonderful? | ||
| 106 | |
| THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| Of course she left. Can't you do anything right? | ||
 | 107 | |
| AZOLAN TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| Spy report: she's pining pretty bad. | ||
| 108 | |
| THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL TO MADAME DE ROSEMONDE | ||
| Love hurts. Write soon. | ||
| 109 | |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Yah, actually, it is kinda fun. Boy, I can't wait to do Danceny. | ||
| 110 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Boring here. At least I can boink Cécile. | ||
 | 111 | |
| THE COMTE DE GERCOURT TO MADAME DE VOLANGES | ||
| I want your daughter in 2 months. | ||
| 112 | |
| MADAME DE ROSEMONDE TO THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL | ||
| I can't write. My hand hurts. | ||
| 113 | |
| THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL TO THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT | ||
| I'm bored. Come back to Paris & watch me seduce Danceny. | ||
| 114 | |
| THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL TO MADAME DE ROSEMONDE | ||
| Tell me what he's doing. I don't care if your hand hurts. | ||
| 115 | |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| Don't do Danceny. Do me. | ||
| 116 | |
| THE CHEVALIER DANCENY TO CÉCILE VOLANGES | ||
| I miss you a lot. Luckily, the Marquise de Merteuil has been really, really nice to me. | ||
| 117 | |
| CÉCILE VOLANGES TO THE CHEVALIER DANCENY (DICTATED BY VALMONT) | ||
| Down boy. | ||
| 118 | |
| THE CHEVALIER DANCENY TO THE MARQUISE DE MERTEUIL | ||
| I think you're really neat. | ||
| 119 | |
| MADAME DE ROSEMONDE TO THE PRÉSIDENTE DE TOURVEL | ||
| He's acting weird & going to church. | ||
| 120 |  |
| THE VICOMTE DE VALMONT TO THE PERE ANSELME (a Cistercian of the monastery of the Rue Saint-Honoré) | ||
| I want to repent. Can you hook me up with Tourvel, please? | ||