var quote1=new Array(); var quote2=new Array(); quote1[0]="You know how bitchy fags can be."; quote2[0]="Sharon Tate as Jennifer North in “Valley of the Dolls”"; quote1[1]="And springtime brought me the frightful laugh of an idiot."; quote2[1]="Arthur Rimbaud: A Season In Hell"; quote1[2]="I fall upon the thorns of life! I bleed!"; quote2[2]="Percy Shelley"; quote1[3]="I am the Earth Mother and you are all flops."; quote2[3]="E. Taylor as Martha in “Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf”"; quote1[4]="That dress is great. I bet it looks even better lying on the floor."; quote2[4]="Czar Laszlo the Dispossessed"; quote1[5]="Yes, she is a peacock in everything but beauty."; quote2[5]="Oscar Wilde: Picture of Dorian Gray."; quote1[6]="Get your hands off me you damn, dirty ape!"; quote2[6]="Chuck Heston in “Planet of the Apes”"; quote1[7]="Don't you ever touch the sacrificial fluids … okey dokey?"; quote2[7]="Thou Shalt Not Kill … Except"; quote1[8]="I'm pissed off because I feel like it's not safe
to wear my trenchcoat for a few months now.
And I can't wear my beret because of Monica.
Would the fucking media stop making my wardrobe obsolete?"; quote2[8]="Name Withheld upon Request"; quote1[9]="You disappointed me too, Daddy!"; quote2[9]="Jennifer Grey in “Dirty Dancing”"; quote1[10]="Mount me if you must, but not a kiss!"; quote2[10]="Mink Stole in “Desperate Living”"; quote1[11]="I suppose it's okay to imagine your dream castle.
The problems start when you try to move into it."; quote2[11]="Elkie Sommers in “The Oscar”"; quote1[12]="The pulverizing crucible of her fulfillment!"; quote2[12]="Russ Meyer"; quote1[13]="She's a manipulative misery machine."; quote2[13]="Billy on Melrose Place referring to Brooke."; quote1[14]="I would be so pleased if you was a fag and had a nice beautician boyfriend."; quote2[14]="Edith Massey in “Female Trouble”"; quote1[15]="One does not applaud the tenor for clearing his throat."; quote2[15]="Choderlos de Laclos: Dangerous Liaisons"; quote1[16]="She was the most pulchritudinously fuckable person he had ever laid eyes upon."; quote2[16]="Anne Rice writing tawdry ‘erotica'"; quote1[17]="They had to borrow a new knight from another board. But it was still chess."; quote2[17]="Tanith Lee: Personal Darkness"; quote1[18]="You have to believe we are magic."; quote2[18]="Olivia Newton-John"; quote1[19]="My God. This room stinks of stupid women thinking about Tony."; quote2[19]="Kids in the Hall"; quote1[20]="She clutched a glittering, gold mesh purse."; quote2[20]="Michael Talbot: The Delicate Dependency"; quote1[21]="What have they done to its eyes?!"; quote2[21]="Mia Farrow in “Rosemary's Baby”"; quote1[22]="This isn't a dream, this is really happening!"; quote2[22]="Mia Farrow in “Rosemary's Baby”"; quote1[23]="It has an undertaste -- a chalky undertaste."; quote2[23]="Mia Farrow in “Rosemary's Baby”"; quote1[24]="I’m gonna rock you alllll night long."; quote2[24]="AC/DC"; quote1[25]="The peeeeple! The peeeeople! The peeeeople!"; quote2[25]="Sally Field as “Sybil”"; quote1[26]="What is this, a freak out?!"; quote2[26]="Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka"; quote1[27]="There’s a fish in the per-co-la-tor!"; quote2[27]="Twin Peaks"; quote1[28]="Mother died today, or perhaps it was yesterday; I don't know."; quote2[28]="Albert Camus: L'Étranger"; quote1[29]="Ill kill that queen André!"; quote2[29]="Candy Darling in Andy Warhol's “Flesh”"; quote1[30]="Lulu, your hair looks so nice today.”
“I know!"; quote2[30]="Polyester"; quote1[31]="If it doesn't already look phallic, turn it sideways."; quote2[31]="Comtesse de Nuit, “Sharon, Sharon, How Red Is Thy Gash?”"; quote1[32]="Humans — feh!"; quote2[32]="Mordantia Bat"; quote1[33]="If you put on a white coat, then take it off and put on a black coat,
then you are neither the white or the black coat — you have simply changed coats."; quote2[33]="Fuzzbox"; quote1[34]="I’ll just die if I don’t get this recipe."; quote2[34]="The Stepford Wives"; quote1[35]="May I speak horticulturally for a moment?"; quote2[35]="le Marquis Déjà Dû"; quote1[36]="You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."; quote2[36]="Dorothy Parker, using ‘horticulture' in a sentence"; quote1[37]="My hair hurts!"; quote2[37]="Kallistí"; quote1[38]="You wouldnt know good manners if they kicked you in the shin,
spat in your face and stole your plastic."; quote2[38]="le Marquis Déjà Dû"; quote1[39]="Beelzebub has a devil set aside for me — for meee — for meeeeee…"; quote2[39]="Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody"; quote1[40]="Hey now, hey n-now-now…"; quote2[40]="Sisters of Mercy"; quote1[41]="He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike."; quote2[41]="William Shakespeare"; quote1[42]="Fun is for shallow people."; quote2[42]="Nyquolytt"; quote1[43]="I can see your dirty pillows."; quote2[43]="Piper Laurie in “Carrie”"; quote1[44]="Woe! Woe!, Yea!, Woe!"; quote2[44]="Anton LaVey: The Satanic Bible"; quote1[45]="Good coffee should smell like two week old cat piss."; quote2[45]="Kallistí"; quote1[46]="Felt a joy today; soon clouded."; quote2[46]="Sylvia Plath"; quote1[47]="I like this part."; quote2[47]="Janet Jackson"; quote1[48]="You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style!"; quote2[48]="Vladimir Nabokov: “Lolita”"; quote1[49]="All art is quite useless."; quote2[49]="Oscar Wilde"; quote1[50]="What is love but an alergic reaction to the proper lighting?"; quote2[50]="Scott ‘Buddy' Thompson"; quote1[51]="Your apple pie don't taste too nice."; quote2[51]="Rocky Horror Picture Show"; quote1[52]="They're all gonna laugh at you! They're all gonna laugh at you!"; quote2[52]="Piper Laurie in “Carrie”"; quote1[53]="There's a fine line between stupid and … and … clever"; quote2[53]="This Is Spinal Tap"; quote1[54]="Men. Pigs. — Nothing personal, handsome."; quote2[54]="Joan Crawford in “Rain”"; quote1[55]="Sid!! What about the farewell drugs!? SID!!!"; quote2[55]="Chloe Webb in “Sid & Nancy”"; quote1[56]="Leave me alone, milkman scum!"; quote2[56]="Julie Brown in “Shakes the Clown”"; quote1[57]="The word linkage reminds me of sausage! Hate the links! Love the patties!"; quote2[57]="Gordon Cole, Twin Peaks"; quote1[58]="Everybody's into weirdness right now."; quote2[58]="Repo Man"; quote1[59]="Grow up, Heather. Bulemia is so ‘87."; quote2[59]="Heathers"; quote1[60]="My teen angst bullshit has a body count."; quote2[60]="Heathers"; quote1[61]="Hell is other people"; quote2[61]="Jean-Paul Sartre: No Exit"; quote1[62]="My sweet Satan…"; quote2[62]="“Stairway to Heaven” played backwards"; quote1[63]="Time doth flit; oh shit."; quote2[63]="Dorothy Parker"; quote1[64]="This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.
It should be thrown with great force."; quote2[64]="Dorothy Parker"; quote1[65]="Don't touch it! It's pure EEEVIL!!"; quote2[65]="Time Bandits"; quote1[66]="Oh my God! Someone has sent me a bowel movement!"; quote2[66]="Divine in “Pink Flamingoes”"; quote1[67]="I had the pear dream again. We are lost."; quote2[67]="Kids in the Hall"; quote1[68]="Lesbians get so much done in a day."; quote2[68]="Kids in the Hall"; quote1[69]="Without physics, there would be no engineering”
“Without lamps, there would be no light."; quote2[69]="Breakfast Club"; quote1[70]="The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!"; quote2[70]="The Exorcist"; quote1[71]="I am the policeman who punches heads."; quote2[71]="Jhonen Vasquez: Happy Noodle Boy"; quote1[72]="They cut the cord when you were born. Be free, my little void."; quote2[72]="Absolutely Fabulous"; quote1[73]="Now repeat after me: Nothing, nothing, nothing. So it will be."; quote2[73]="Bibi Andersen in Bergman's “Persona”"; quote1[74]="Oh, the humanity!"; quote2[74]="Heathers"; quote1[75]="Feasting on our cousins from the sea, are we?"; quote2[75]="Kids in the Hall"; quote1[76]="She wore a halter top with very little to halt."; quote2[76]="Vladimir Nabokov: “Lolita”"; quote1[77]="He's not the Messiah! He's a very naughty boy!"; quote2[77]="Life of Brian"; quote1[78]="Tell your mother I hate her! Tell your mother I hate you!!!"; quote2[78]="Mink Stole in “Desperate Living”"; quote1[79]="I don't want no white man lookin' at my Tampax!"; quote2[79]="Jean Hill in “Desperate Living”"; quote1[80]="At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date."; quote2[80]="Edith Massey in “Polyester”"; quote1[81]="There are two kinds of people —
those who think there are two kinds of people, and…"; quote2[81]="le Marquis Déjà Dû"; quote1[82]="I'm a sex shooter shootin' love in your direction."; quote2[82]="Apollonia 6"; quote1[83]="Money, money, money, must be funny,
in the rich man's world."; quote2[83]="Abba"; quote1[84]="A clown can get away with murder"; quote2[84]="John Wayne Gacy"; quote1[85]="Men are egotistical, arrogant, smug, and conceited!"; quote2[85]="Marcia Brady"; quote1[86]="I don't really consider myself Goth (even though I am.)"; quote2[86]="Verite, some goth chick"; quote1[87]="It puts the lotion on its skin; it does this whenever it's told."; quote2[87]="Silence of the Lambs"; quote1[88]="But sir, the peasants are dying!”
“Not only are they dying, but they're boring."; quote2[88]="Ridicule"; quote1[89]="Everyone I know has a big ‘but'."; quote2[89]="Pee-Wee Herman"; quote1[90]="What a damnable nuisance that clock is."; quote2[90]="Kids in the Hall"; quote1[91]="The virginal brides file past his tomb."; quote2[91]="Bauhaus"; quote1[92]="My passion had a hard time surviving your virtue."; quote2[92]="Les Liaisons Dangereuses"; quote1[93]="Danny's not here, Mrs. Torrence."; quote2[93]="The Shining"; quote1[94]="A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming."; quote2[94]="Barbarella"; quote1[95]="Couldn't we do it your way? I don't want to change your customs."; quote2[95]="Barbarella"; quote1[96]="I want a See-Oh-Oh-El. Are-Eye-Dee-Ee-Are…"; quote2[96]="Michele Pfeiffer in “Grease 2”"; quote1[97]="This is all so silly. It's just my head. This is all so silly. It's just my head."; quote2[97]="The Stepford Wives"; quote1[98]="As they pull you out of the oxygen tent, you ask for the latest party."; quote2[98]="David Bowie, “Diamond Dogs”"; quote1[99]="Shut up, little man!"; quote2[99]="‘Pete & Ray”"; quote1[100]="I dance like the wiiiiiinnnnnddddd…"; quote2[100]="Sandy Dennis in “Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf”"; quote1[101]="I'd like to know what this was before it was leftovers.”
“Why, leftovers to be!"; quote2[101]="‘Parents”"; quote1[102]="Suffrir c'est chouette."; quote2[102]="Gustave Flaubert"; quote1[103]="El dolor, me encanta."; quote2[103]="Frida Kahlo"; quote1[104]="Suffering can temper the soul."; quote2[104]="Daniel Goleman, “Emotional Intelligence”"; quote1[105]="I've abandoned the church of Rome in favour of Utopia!"; quote2[105]="Alive: Tale of the Andes Survivors"; quote1[106]="Screw that!"; quote2[106]="Emilio Estevez in any movie he's been in."; quote1[107]="Suddenly, I have a dreadful urge to be merry."; quote2[107]="Morticia Addams"; quote1[108]="Batter down my virgin doors!!!"; quote2[108]="the heroine in Anne Rice's “The Mummy,”
speaking to Ramses the reanimated “Hunk.”"; quote1[109]="Well I might stretch it till Wednesday."; quote2[109]="David Bowie, “Love You Till Tuesday”"; quote1[110]="I just can't get my mind operating!"; quote2[110]="The Stepford Wives"; quote1[111]="You never fuck me and I always have to drive."; quote2[111]="Kelly Lynch in “Drugstore Cowboy”"; quote1[112]="Everyone hates a mime."; quote2[112]="le Marquis Déjà Dû"; quote1[113]="My butt hurts."; quote2[113]="Trent Reznor"; quote1[114]="I'm a juice-dog — I'm a skee-ball,
and you won't let me quiverrrrr…"; quote2[114]="80's sequel to “Dr. Caligari”"; quote1[115]="Her face just kinda floated on the soup like a lotus blossom."; quote2[115]="80's sequel to “Dr. Caligari”"; quote1[116]="There's much to be learned from a despairing scream."; quote2[116]="80's sequel to “Dr. Caligari”"; quote1[117]="You're maudlin and full of self pity; you're magnificent."; quote2[117]="80's sequel to “Dr. Caligari”"; quote1[118]="Describe your life in 3 words or less.”
“Un. Ending. Torment."; quote2[118]="80's sequel to “Dr. Caligari”"; quote1[119]="I am sorry, Master!"; quote2[119]="Barbara Eden as Jeannie"; quote1[120]="Oh please, that man is a walking argument for Thorazine."; quote2[120]="80's sequel to “Dr. Caligari”"; quote1[121]="Aunt Bea still gives me randy-pants."; quote2[121]="80's sequel to “Dr. Caligari”"; quote1[122]="I'm Pygar, last of the Arnithanthropes!"; quote2[122]="Barbarella"; quote1[123]="When a woman strikes at the heart of another woman,
she rarely misses, and the wound is invariably fatal."; quote2[123]="Choderlos de Laclos: Dangerous Liaisons"; quote1[124]="Bela Lugosi was still dead."; quote2[124]="Poppy Z. Brite"; quote1[125]="I love you! — I love you all!"; quote2[125]="Catherine Deneuve being accosted by all her dead lovers in “The Hunger”"; quote1[126]="Big, big daddy of the rhythm, I send this sloppy kiss to you … HA!"; quote2[126]="Dead or Alive"; quote1[127]="I haven't got time for the pain."; quote2[127]="Carly Simon"; quote1[128]="Suffering is the great decadence."; quote2[128]="Colette"; quote1[129]="Hang on kids, here we gooooooooo!"; quote2[129]="Jiminy Cricket"; quote1[130]="One hundred years ago a man must have sat where I sit now, had a fine meal,
and died. This makes me inexpressibly happy."; quote2[130]="Andrei Codrescu"; quote1[131]="Hi! No, I really mean that sincerely, hi!"; quote2[131]="Scream 2"; quote1[132]="Someone open a window. I find the chill reassuring."; quote2[132]="Glenn Close in “Reversal of Fortune”"; quote1[133]="Sick people have such deep, sincere attachments."; quote2[133]="Blanche DuBois: “Streetcar Named Desire”"; quote1[134]="You're nothing you're nothing you're just a fly!"; quote2[134]="Liquid Sky"; quote1[135]="How perfectly godamned delightful it all is to be sure."; quote2[135]="The Late Charles Crumb"; quote1[136]="One should do more than merely exhibit a flair for the obvious."; quote2[136]="Comtesse Melusine de Nuit"; quote1[137]="I am inconsolable!"; quote2[137]="Madame de Tourvel in most of her letters from “Les Liaisons Dangereuses”"; quote1[138]="I'm hurting!"; quote2[138]="Ren Hoack in “Ren & Stimpy: Space Madness”"; quote1[139]="Depression is just anger without enthusiasm."; quote2[139]="—anon."; quote1[140]="You don't know what pain is!"; quote2[140]="Silence of the Lambs"; quote1[141]="You've been without any sort of companionship for nearly 30 years.
I'd hazard to guess you'd find a lampost beguiling."; quote2[141]="“The Smell of Men” by Mordantia Bat"; quote1[142]="I just wanted to get in a little writing tonight. I'm really not up for this."; quote2[142]="“Chianti on the Cadaver” by Mordantia Bat"; quote1[143]="Only the truly insane can meet their Destiny on equal footing."; quote2[143]="“The Sulking Outcast” by Melusine de Nuit"; quote1[144]="As long you're in the sandbox of normalcy, you can build any sandcastle you want."; quote2[144]="Czar Laszlo, in a dispossessed tone. "; quote1[145]="The world sucks because otherwise it would be so repulsive
that it would overpower gravity, and then we'd all be thrown into space."; quote2[145]="Czar Laszlo the Dispossessed"; quote1[146]="I'd rather a gentleman in sheep's clothing than a wolf in boy's attire."; quote2[146]="Anna Noelle Rockwell"; quote1[147]="Nookie keeps, unlike other meats."; quote2[147]="le Marquis Déjà Dû"; quote1[148]="It would have been both ironic and glamourous to be finished
off by a four foot glitter ball."; quote2[148]="Boy George"; quote1[149]="What is hip? It's a bone in the pelvis region."; quote2[149]="Mordantia Bat"; quote1[150]="There is joy for the giver as well as the receiver in all abrupt tempo changes."; quote2[150]="le Marquis Déjà Dû"; quote1[151]="Hell yawns before me and I yawn back."; quote2[151]="le Marquis Déjà Dû"; quote1[152]="I do so love my refrigerator and the people who contribute to it."; quote2[152]="Mordantia Bat"; quote1[153]="Cleverness is not wisdom.” — Euripides
“That's not very clever."; quote2[153]="le Marquis Déjà Dû"; quote1[154]="Note the engorged larval matriarchal mother."; quote2[154]="Kallistí, speaking of the film “Angels & Insects”"; quote1[155]="If men had wings and bore black feathers,
few of them would be clever enough to be crows."; quote2[155]="Henry Ward Beecher"; quote1[156]="You know how interesting the purchase of a sponge-cake is to me."; quote2[156]="Jane Austen's Letters, 1808"; quote1[157]="The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood."; quote2[157]="John Cocteau"; quote1[158]="The best artist high is to play with your own entrails."; quote2[158]="Mordantia Bat"; quote1[159]="Uh-oh, time to go to the coroner."; quote2[159]="Mordantia Bat"; quote1[160]="If only a person's misery could be measured in
the distance between the fang marks in the post mortem."; quote2[160]="le Marquis Déjà Dû"; quote1[161]="How dare she think she's more wretched than the rest of us?
I will not have my fucked-up-ness invalidated."; quote2[161]="Mordantia Bat"; quote1[162]="I think of her a reversed frat boy type.
Doomed to live her own bumper sticker forever."; quote2[162]="Mordantia Bat"; quote1[163]="That's why becoming an Oracle will be good for me.
I can still help people, but I'll get to demand a sacrifice upfront."; quote2[163]="Mordantia Bat"; quote1[164]="Finesse it!"; quote2[164]="Kallistí"; quote1[165]="Beige is not on the color spectrum."; quote2[165]="Melusine de Nuit"; quote1[166]="If it's too cold to wear sandals without socks,
perhaps another choice of footwear is in order."; quote2[166]="Melusine de Nuit"; quote1[167]="Parking your SUV on the sidewalk is not the answer."; quote2[167]="Melusine de Nuit"; quote1[168]="Rockabilly boys and in-bred throwbacks are not the same thing."; quote2[168]="Melusine de Nuit"; quote1[169]="Denim dresses are not sexy."; quote2[169]="Melusine de Nuit"; quote1[170]="Animated shows and movies are still cartoons — just longer."; quote2[170]="Melusine de Nuit"; quote1[171]="Ay, Ay, as you say my Dear,
Men are vile Inconstant Toads."; quote2[171]="Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, Letters 1710"; quote1[171]="Ay, Ay, as you say my Dear,
Men are vile Inconstant Toads."; quote2[171]="Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, Letters 1710"; quote1[172]="O Father! You did nothing to defend my honor!”
“O shut yer face, you pregnant, junky, fag hag."; quote2[172]="Blackadder III"; quote1[173]="She was rather fun, you know”
“Fun, Madame, will count for very little on the day of judgement."; quote1[174]="Sure he's nice, if you like them fit."; quote2[174]="Kallistí"; quote1[175]="Mendacity!"; quote2[175]="Big Daddy in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”"; quote1[176]="You can take my head and cut it off, but you ain't gonna change my mind."; quote2[176]="Alice Cooper"; quote1[177]="Men are most apt to believe what they least understand."; quote2[177]="Montaigne"; quote1[178]="We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?"; quote2[178]="Jean Cocteau"; quote1[179]="Give me six lines written by an honest man and I will find something in it with which to hang him."; quote2[179]="Cardinal Richelieu"; quote1[180]="If we are forced, at every hour, to watch or listen to horrible events, this constant stream of ghastly impressions will deprive even the most delicate among us of all respect for humanity."; quote2[180]="Cicero"; quote1[181]="All truly wise thoughts have been thoughts already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience."; quote2[181]="Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe" quote1[182]="If everybody likes you, you're not interesting."; quote2[182]="Bette Davis" quote1[183]="Who said you should be happy? Do your work."; quote2[183]="Colette"; quote1[184]="Laughter is higher than all pain."; quote2[184]="Elbert Hubbard"; quote1[185]="I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good."; quote2[185]="Seneca"; quote1[186]="I quickly laugh at everything for fear of having to cry."; quote2[186]="Pierre de Beaumarchais"; quote1[187]="The earth laughs in flowers."; quote2[187]="e.e. cummings"; quote1[188]="Misery may love company, but I'd just rather have a beer."; quote2[188]="Mordantia Bat"; quote1[189]="You taste like a hangover."; quote2[189]="name withheld"; quote1[190]="Exuberance is beauty."; quote2[190]="William Blake"; quote1[191]="The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won't believe."; quote2[191]="William Blake"; quote1[192]="Why do you ask, how long has he lived? He has lived to posterity.
Quid quaeris, quamdiu visit? Vixit ad posteros."; quote2[192]="Seneca"; function randquot() { var QuoteNum=((Math.round(Math.random( )*quote1.length))); document.write("
“"+quote1[QuoteNum]+"”
— "+quote2[QuoteNum]+"
"); };