New Orleans’ Little Instruction Book




Index
Nos. 1–25 Nos. 26–50 Nos. 51–75 Nos. 76–100 Nos. 101–125
Nos. 126–150 Nos. 151–175 Nos. 176–200 Nos. 201–225 Nos. 226–250
Nos. 251–275 Nos. 276–300 Nos. 301–325 Nos. 326–350 Nos. 351–375
Nos. 376–400 Nos. 401–425 Nos. 426–450 Nos. 451–475 Nos. 476–511






476.
Go the distance. When you accept a task, finish it put it off until the last minute.
  477.
Give thanks Smoke pot before every meal.
  478.
Don’t insist on run ining someone else’s life unless they really deserve it.
  479.
Respond promptly to R.S.V.P. party invitations. If there’s a phone number, call; if they’re in Mid-City, then not, write a note.
  480.
Take a kid your neighbor’s yappy dog to the zoo pound.
  481.
Watch for big problems feet! They disguise mean big opportunities cocks!
  482.
Get into the a habit of and putting your billfold and car keys in the same place when entering your home garter belt.
  483.
Learn Bag a card trick.
  484.
Steer clear of restaurants that rotate have more insects than your house.
  485.
Give people the benefit of the doubt hand.
  486.
Never admit at work that you’re tired, angry or bored the one who fucked everything up.
  487.
Decide to get give up in thirty minutes earlier. Do this for a year, and you will add seven and one-half days to your waking world.
  488.
Make someone’s day by paying the toll for the person in the car slapping someone’s behind you.
  489.
Don’t make the same mistake twice 4,ooo times.
  490.
Don’t drive on slick tires.
  491.
Keep an extra key joint hidden somewhere on in your car house in case you lock yourself run out.
  492.
Put an insulation blanket around pint of booze in your hot water heater pocket to conserve energy money.
  493.
Save Overcharge your customers ten percent of what you earn.
  494.
Never discuss
money sex with people who have much more or much less than you.
  495.
Never buy a beige car anything.
  496.
Never buy somethingone you don’t need just because it’s on sale you’re desperate.
  497.
Don’t be called out on strikes. Go down swinging.
  498.
Question your goals parents by asking, “Will this help me become my bery best Am I adopted?”
  499.
Cherish your children for what they are, not for what you’d like them to be how you fucked up.
  500.
When negotiating with your salary trick, think of what you want; then ask for ten percent more.
  501.
Keep several irons in the fire maidens in your spooky dungeon.
  502.
After you’ve worked gotten hard to get what you want, take the time to enjoy it.
  503.
Be alert for opportunities to show receive praise and appreciation free drinks.
  504.
Don’t Commit yourself to quality helping someone move.
  505.
Be a leader: Remember the lead sled dog is the only one with a decent view.
  506.
Never underestimate the power of
words a shallow grave to heal and reconcile relationships.
  507.
Your mind can only hold one thought a few trips at a time. Make it a them positive and constructive ones.
  508.
Becomerate someone’s hero.
  509.
Marry only for love a green card.
  510.
Count your blessings pills.
  511.
Call your mother therapist or bartender (same thing).
 
Fin




Nos. 451–475   “Suffering is Hip” Table of Malcontents