New Orleans’ Little Instruction Book




Index
Nos. 1–25 Nos. 26–50 Nos. 51–75 Nos. 76–100 Nos. 101–125
Nos. 126–150 Nos. 151–175 Nos. 176–200 Nos. 201–225 Nos. 226–250
Nos. 251–275 Nos. 276–300 Nos. 301–325 Nos. 326–350 Nos. 351–375
Nos. 376–400 Nos. 401–425 Nos. 426–450 Nos. 451–475 Nos. 476–511






451.
Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m sorry fuck it.”
  452.
Never compromise your integrity fuck.
  453.
Keep a note pade and pencil gallon of water on your bedside table. Million dollar ideas Hangovers sometimes strike at 3am.
  454.
Show respect for everyone who works for a living in the service industry, regardless of how trivial their job many times they’ve kicked you out.
  455.
Read the Sunday New York Times bathroom wall to keep informed.
  456.
Send Call your loved one flowers when drunk. Think of a reason later.
  457.
Attend your children’s athletic contests, plays and recitals that your friends are in.
  458.
When If you find a job that’s ideal, take it regardless of the pay. If you’ve got what it takes, your salary will soon reflect your value to the company.
  459.
Don’t
use time leave your cell phone or words carelessly credit card at a bar. Neither can be retrieved.
  460.
Look for opportunities to make people feel important uncomfortable.
  461.
Get organized laid. If you don’t know where to start, read Stephanie Windston’s Getting Organized (Warner Books, 1978) go to The Phoenix Bar.
  462.
When a child falls and skins a knee or elbow always show concern; then take the time to “kiss it and make it well” laugh and point.
  463.
Be open to new ideas positions.
  464.
Don’t miss the magic of the moment by focusing on what is to come.
  465.
When talking to the press, remember they always have the last twist your words.
  466.
Set short-term memory and long-term goals failures.
  467.
When planning a trip to mount a_broad, read about the places you’ll visit before you go or, better yet, rent a travel porn video.
  468.
Don’t rain on other people’s be sober at parades.
  469.
Stand when greeting a visitor to your office chick you stand a chance with. You’ll seem a gentleman for once.
  470.
Don’t interrupt your bartender for a measley cup of tap water.
  471.
Before leaving to meet a flight, call the airline first to be sure it’s on time put your stash in a coffee can.
  472.
Enjoy real maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper for ten days straight without eating.
  473.
Don’t be rushed into making a n important decision batch of crank. People will understand if you say, “I’d like a little more time to think it over cook it up. Can I get back to you tomorrow?”
  474.
Be prepared. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression bloody mary.
  475.
Don’t expect others to listen to your advice and ignore your example it.

Nos. 426–450   Nos. 476–511


“Suffering is Hip” Table of Malcontents