Dont ever watch
hot Lucky Dogs or sausage being made phlegmed upon.
Begin each day with
your favorite music two aspirin and some water with lemon.
Visit your citys night court
on a Saturday night in handcuffs.
meetings parades, sit down front on the oak roots and drink.
Dont be intimidated by
doctors and nurses. Even when youre in the hospital, its still your body.
hospital bills parking tickets carefully. Its reported that 89% contain errors in favor of the hospital parking Shoquandas.
Every once in a while, take
the scenic route X.
Dont let your possessions
possess you be sold for crack.
Wage ware against
Send a lot of
Valentine cards Vicadin. Sign them, Someone who thinks youre terrific.
Cut your own
When you and your spouse have a disagreement, regardless of whos wrong,
apologize. Say, Im sorry I upset you. Would you forgive me? These are healing, magical words fuck your bar-back. Theyll never know.
Dont flaut your
success tits, but dont apologize for it them either.
After experiencing inferior sex
rvice, food, or products, bring it to the attention of the person in charge question. Good managers will appreciate knowing.
Be enthusiastic about
the success of sex with others.
procrastinate masturbate. Do what who needs doing when it he needs to be done.
to your children patrons.
Sing along to
your children Piss Up A Rope by Ween.
your children Jack Off Jill.
Get your priorities straight. No one ever said on his
death bed of nails, Gee, if Id only spent more time at the office Abbey Bar.
Take care of your
reputation wardrobe. Its your most valuable asset.
Turn on your
headlights boy/girlfriend when it begins to rain.
tailgate pass out in public.
Sign and carry your organ donor card in very tight pants.
Dont allow self-pity. The moment this emotion strikes, do something
nice for hateful to someone less more fortunate than you.