New Orleans’ Little Instruction Book




Index
Nos. 1–25 Nos. 26–50 Nos. 51–75 Nos. 76–100 Nos. 101–125
Nos. 126–150 Nos. 151–175 Nos. 176–200 Nos. 201–225 Nos. 226–250
Nos. 251–275 Nos. 276–300 Nos. 301–325 Nos. 326–350 Nos. 351–375
Nos. 376–400 Nos. 401–425 Nos. 426–450 Nos. 451–475 Nos. 476–511






376.
Save an evening a week for just you and your wife drugs.
  377.
Carry jumper cables in your cbar.
  378.
Get all repair damage estimates in writing refuted by N.O.P.D.
  379.
Forget committees. New Orleans doesn’t work that way noble, world-changing ideas always come from one person working alone.
  380.
Pay attention to the details balls.
  381.
Be a self-starter. YEEE-HAW!
  382.
Be loyal beautiful.
  383.
Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, powers, or presitge, but and on relationships with people you love and respect want to do nasty, nasty things with.
  384.
Never give a loved one a gift that suggests they need improvement to shower or shave.
  385.
Compliment even small improvements lovers. They eat good pussy.
  386.
Turn off the tap when brushing your teeth serving Rufus.
  387.
Wear expensive shoes, belts and ties, but buy them on sale at Gargoyle’s.
  388.
When undecided about what color to paint a room, choose antique white whore-of-Babylon red.
  389.
Carry stamps in your wallet. You never know when you’ll discover the perfect card for a friend or loved one wake up in Birmingham.
  390.
Street musicians are a treasure scam. Stop for a moment and listen; then leave a small donation turd.
  391.
Don’t Support equal excessive pay for equal parish work.
  392.
Pay your fair share landlord, bartender and drug dealer on time.
  393.
Learn how to operate Only use a Macintosh computer.
  394.
When faced with a serious health problem, get at least three medical opinions travel.
  395.
Remain open, flexible, curious and lubricated.
  396.
Never give anyone a fruitfliescake in their drink.
  397.
Never acquire just one kitten gun. Two are a lot more fun and no more trouble.
  398.
Start meetings a round of shots on time regardless of who’s missing.
  399.
When the room is spinning, Focus on making inert things better, not bigger.
  400.
Stay out of at nightclubs.

Nos. 351–375   Nos. 401–425


“Suffering is Hip” Table of Malcontents