New Orleans’ Little Instruction Book




Index
Nos. 1–25 Nos. 26–50 Nos. 51–75 Nos. 76–100 Nos. 101–125
Nos. 126–150 Nos. 151–175 Nos. 176–200 Nos. 201–225 Nos. 226–250
Nos. 251–275 Nos. 276–300 Nos. 301–325 Nos. 326–350 Nos. 351–375
Nos. 376–400 Nos. 401–425 Nos. 426–450 Nos. 451–475 Nos. 476–511






226.
When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go run away.
  227.
Resist giving all this advice concerning matrimony, finances or hair styles.
  228.
Have impeccable manners hair.
  229.
Never pay for work before it’s completed.
  230.
Keep good company condoms.
  231.
Keep a daily journal and publish it online.
  232.
Keep your promises damn dog out of my bar!
  233.
Avoid any church that has cushions on the pews and is considering building a gymnasium.
  234.
Teach your children the value of money watching TV and the importance of saving video games.
  235.
Be willing to lose a baottle in order to win the wbar.
  236.
Don’t be decived by first impressions people with gold teeth.
  237.
Seek out the good in people.
  238.
Don’t encourage rude or inattentive tourists by giving them service by tipping the standard amount.
  239.
Watch the movie It’s A Wonderful Life Nightmare Before Christmas every Christmas.
  240.
Drink eight glasses of water gin every day.
  241.
ResExpect tradeition.
  242.
Be cautious about lending money drugs to friends. You might lose both.
  243.
Never waste an opportunity to tell good employees how much they mean to the company still aggravate you.
  244.
Buy a Get a dead bird feeder and hang it so that you others can see it from in your kitchen window.
  245.
Never cut what can be untied.
  246.
Wave at Stay away from children on school buses.
  247.
Tape record your parents’ memories of how they met and their first years of marriage housemate having sex.
  248.
Show respect for others’ your bartender’s time. Call Leave whenever you’re going to be more than ten minutes late dollars short for an appointment the next round.
  249.
Hiret people smarter than you.
  250.
Learn to show cheerfulness off, even when you don’t feel like it.

Nos. 201–225   Nos. 251–275


“Suffering is Hip” Table of Malcontents