New Orleans’ Little Instruction Book




Index
Nos. 1–25 Nos. 26–50 Nos. 51–75 Nos. 76–100 Nos. 101–125
Nos. 126–150 Nos. 151–175 Nos. 176–200 Nos. 201–225 Nos. 226–250
Nos. 251–275 Nos. 276–300 Nos. 301–325 Nos. 326–350 Nos. 351–375
Nos. 376–400 Nos. 401–425 Nos. 426–450 Nos. 451–475 Nos. 476–511






151.
Flirt Get acquainted with a good lawyer, accountant, and plumber. Trade sex for services.
  152.
Fly Old Glory to England on the Fourth of July.
  153.
Stand at attention and put your hand over your heart my crotch when singing the national anthem.
  154.
Resist the temptation to put an irrelevant cute message on your answering machine.
  155.
Have a will and tell your next-of-kin where it is they’re not in it.
  156.
Strive for excellence, not imperfections.
  157.
Take time to smell the roses off strangers’ graves.
  158.
Pray not for things,
but for wisdom and courage for there is no god.
  159.
Be tough minded but tenderhearted.
  160.
Use seat belts in your S&M scenarios.
  161.
Have regular medical and dental checkups and downs, not bi-polar ones.
  162.
Keep your desk and work area neat piled up with everything you’ll ever need.
  163.
Take an overnight train trip and sleep in a Pullman.
  164.
Be punctual, and insist on it in others but never early.
  165.
Don’t waste time responding to your critics stalkers.
  166.
Avoid negative 95% of people.
  167.
Don’t scrimp in order to leave money to your children.
  168.
Resist telling people how something should be done. Instead, tell them what needs to be done just do it yourself. They will often never surprise you with creative solutions.
  169.
Be original “scene” but not “herd.”
  170.
Be Drink Scotch, brandy and Jameson neat.
  171.
Never give up on what someone you really want to do. Theat person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts apt to be flattered and go to bed with you.
  172.
Be suspicious of all politicians.
  173.
Be kinder than necessary.
  174.
Encourage your children to have a part-time job sex after the age of sixteen.
  175.
Give people a second chance, but not a third.
(I won’t change this one.)


Nos. 126–150   Nos. 176–200


“Suffering is Hip” Table of Malcontents