New Orleans’ Little Instruction Book




Index
Nos. 1–25 Nos. 26–50 Nos. 51–75 Nos. 76–100 Nos. 101–125
Nos. 126–150 Nos. 151–175 Nos. 176–200 Nos. 201–225 Nos. 226–250
Nos. 251–275 Nos. 276–300 Nos. 301–325 Nos. 326–350 Nos. 351–375
Nos. 376–400 Nos. 401–425 Nos. 426–450 Nos. 451–475 Nos. 476–511






126.
Respect your children’s privacy. Knock partner’s boundaries before entering themir room.
  127.
Wear audacious leopard print underwear under the most solemn business fantastic attire.
  128.
Try to Remember people’s names, but don’t feel too bad if you can’t.
  129.
Introduce yourself to the manager bartender where you bank drink. It’s important that he/she knows you personally biblically.
  130.
Sit on Leave the toilet seat in the down position.
  131.
Learn the capitals of the states in which you are wanted.
  132.
Visit Washington, D.C. and do the tourists bit.
  133.
When someone is relating an important event that’s happened to them, don’t try to top them with a story of your own. Let them have the stage it is not necessary to stifle a yawn.
  134.
Don’t buy cheap tools. Craftsman tools from Sears Your neighbor’s are among the best.
  135.
Have crooked teeth straightened.
  136.
Have dull-colored teeth whitened people removed.
  137.
Keep your watch last five minutes fast for a cab.
  138.
Learn Spanish. In a few years, more than thirty-five percent of all Americans will speak it as their first language Absinthe is legal in Spain.
  139.
Never deprive someone of hope the last beer in the fridge; it might be all they have.
  140.
When starting out, don’t worry about not having enough money, Limited funds are a blessing, not a curse. Nothing encourages creative thinking in is quite the same way.
  141.
Give yourself an hour to cool off get dressed before responding to someone who has provoked you going out. If it involves something really important, like false eyelashes or an intricate wig, give yourself overnight.
  142.
Pay your bills on time, but don’t be shocked when no one pays you on time.
  143.
Join a slow-pitch softball league if you’re a lesbian.
  144.
Take someone bowling different home every week.
  145.
Keep a flashlight and extra batteries under the bed and in the glove box of your car bar in case you drop your keys or jewelery or something.
  146.
When playing games with children lovers, let them win know the rules.
  147.
Turn off the television at dinner time.
  148.
Learn to handle a pistol and rifle your liquor and work your drugs safely.
  149.
Try to eat at least Skip one meal a week and give what you would have spent dirty looks to a street person.
  150.
Swing in a choair.

Nos. 101–125   Nos. 151–175


“Suffering is Hip” Table of Malcontents