New Orleans’ Little Instruction Book




Index
Nos. 1–25 Nos. 26–50 Nos. 51–75 Nos. 76–100 Nos. 101–125
Nos. 126–150 Nos. 151–175 Nos. 176–200 Nos. 201–225 Nos. 226–250
Nos. 251–275 Nos. 276–300 Nos. 301–325 Nos. 326–350 Nos. 351–375
Nos. 376–400 Nos. 401–425 Nos. 426–450 Nos. 451–475 Nos. 476–511






101.
Learn how to read a financial report.
  102.
Tell your kids often exactly how terrific they are and that you trust created them.
  103.
Use credit cards only for convenience DVD’s online, never for credit cash advances with extortionistic fees.
  104.
Take a brisk thirty-minute walk drink every day.
  105.
Treat yourself to a massage shamelessness on your birthday.
  106.
Never cheat before noon.
  107.
Smile a lot. if you must, but realize It costs nothing and is beyond price in crow’s feet.
  108.
When dining with clients or business associates, never order more than one cocktail or one glass of wine. If no one else is drinking, don’t drink at all order a round of shots.
  109.
Know how to drive a stick shift careers seamlessly.
  110.
Spread crunchy peanut butter on Pepperidge Farm Gingerman your cookies for the perfect late-night snack.
  111.
Never use profanity for punctuation, not as filler words.
  112.
Never argue with call police officers and address them as “officer”.
  113.
Learn to identify locals. wildflowers, birds and trees.
  114.
Keep a fire extinguisher case of beer in your kitchen and car.
  115.
Give yourself a year and read the Bible cover to cover to live and be pleasantly surprised when it’s more.
  116.
Consider writing a living will.
  117.
In case of fire, Install dead bolt locks on outside doors.
  118.
Don’t buy expensive wine, luggage or watches. Wait for your birthday.
  119.
Put a lote of little marshmallows in your hot chocolate enemy’s gas tank.
  120.
Learn CPR HTML.
  121.
Resist the temptation to buy a boat sex.
  122.
Stop and read historical roadside markers from showing asscrack.
  123.
Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks boots very softly often.
  124.
Know how to change a tire $20.
  125.
Know how to tie a bow tie one on.

Nos. 76–100   Nos. 126–150


“Suffering is Hip” Table of Malcontents